Surveys show that pre-teens have concerns about sex, yet many parents delay conversations about puberty, sex, and related issues.

Do parents start early enough in educating their children about sexuality issues?

There are mixed signals in a recent national survey by the children's entertainment network Nickelodeon along with the Kaiser Family Foundation and Children Now. Kaiser and Children Now are sponsors of "Talking with Kids About Tough Issues," an ongoing campaign to encourage early and frequent parent-child communication

The national poll of 800 children ages 8 to 15 and over 1200 parents examined how families communicate about difficult topics, including drugs and violence as well as issues of sex and maturation. More than two-thirds of pre-teens (ages 8-11) say they know classmates who already have boyfriends or girlfriends, 16% see students kissing in school, and 41% seek information about HIV/AIDS.

Kids even bring up the subject. Among the 49% of parents who have discussed reproduction with their pre-teens, many say that their child initiated the conversation: 61% about reproduction, 40% about puberty, and 38% about HIV/AIDS.

"It's not just the parents of teenagers anymore who stay up late worrying about their kids," says Tina Hoff, vice president of public health information and partnerships for the Kaiser Family Foundation. "Tough issues are confronting kids at younger ages. This is a wake-up call for parents to start talking early and often with their kids."

The same survey found young people between the ages of 12 and 15 say such issues loom even larger in their lives: 46% of young teens say they want to know more about sexual decision making.

But even when parents do talk, the message may not always get through. Fifty-nine percent of children whose parents say they discussed HIV/AIDS do not recall the conversation, and parents say more often than their children that they talk "regularly" about tough issues.

"Daddy, what are those people doing?"

Two other recent reports uncover one source for increasingly early sexual awareness: more sex on television. One survey of 1,114 programs during the 1999-2000 season found significantly more sexual content than a similar analysis two years earlier. The other, "Health Affairs: Communicating Health Information Through the Entertainment Media " (January, 2001), reports a phone sampling that found television viewers picking up sexual health information from a hospital show.

Sooner...Or Later?

Growing kids have growing curiosity. Studies suggest that parents should keep the lines of communication open and be prepared to talk. The time to think about the parental role in sex education is sooner, while offspring are still young.

Kids' discomfort increases as they sense parental discomfort. Parents considering their own orientation--to sex and sexuality, to the role of sex in a good life, to the dangers of STDs and AIDS, and to problems such as peer pressure and unplanned pregnancy--can find useful information and guidance from the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the U.S.

Do you want a "sexually healthy" child?

It might sound odd. But sexual health is a state of mind and starts early, with a child who "feels good about his or her body, who is respectful of other family members and adults, and who knows the difference between private and public places," according to Debra Haffner, author of From Diapers to Dating: A Parent's Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Children. She adds that such a youngster "feels comfortable asking parents questions about sexuality issues and is ready for the changes they'll go through."

A final reassurance from the Nickelodeon report: families who talk openly about sex and relationships are more likely to be a resource for a child faced with a crisis.