There's a lot to be said for aural sex. Our sense of hearing can trigger immediate and intense stimulation. For example, as lovemaking progresses, we take quicker, deeper breaths. Hearing this from our partners or ourselves can be a real turn-on. Groans and moans, a slowly whispered "yessss," all have erotic power. We want, perhaps even need, encouragement and validation, which can be provided with the simplest, most primitive sounds.

Sadly, however, we often consciously deprive ourselves and our partners of this erotic pleasure. Our culture, like many others, is ambivalent about sexuality and likewise ambivalent about full-blown passion. An expression of this skittishness is the unspoken dictum that sex should be silent, lest participants appear too "animal-like." Thus we often stifle what is probably a very natural impulse: to yelp, scream, or groan--cues that can make sex more exquisite.

But what a deprivation of the senses! What we hear allows us to visualize, to imagine, to invent, and therefore to eroticize. Take, for example, the not-so-rare phenomenon of phone sex, used by distant lovers, spouses, and sometimes by strangers. Phone sex partners excite one another, saying what they would like to do to each other, creating an exotic, perhaps taboo, scenario, forecasting or reliving a great sexual encounter. Phone sex can bring two people to the brink of orgasm (and perhaps beyond) just by listening. It's the safest form of sex--and yet underutilized. This is senseless, in the most basic understanding of the word.

We're aural animals. Fortunate as we are to be able to hear, we shouldn't squander this gift by inhibiting its use in our sexual lives.