September 03, 2004 |
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"After a week of national concern (and just the teeniest bit of schadenfreude), Tinkerbell the Chihuahua was returned to her owner, menace to society Paris Hilton . but where had the armpit accessory gone?"
So writes Whitney Pastorek in Entertainment Weekly, covering the supposed kidnapping of Hilton's pooch.
Pastorek's write-up is more amusing than the event, which is too bad. Hilton is lost at sea as a "celebrity," despite canine stunts. Her lack of charisma was never more evident than at Sunday's MTV Video Music Awards. (And there wasn't a lot of charisma battling for attention, either!) Paris is not a bad girl, and it's no crime to lack oomph. The famous name, the blond hair and the relentless red-carpeting is enough for these stellar-starved days. Oh, and when bruised, she still photographs well.
IT'S JUST LIKE a Danielle Steel novel! I do mean the reported financial tussle involving Athina Roussel, daughter of the late Christina Onassis, grandaughter of the legendary Aristotle Onassis and the world's richest teenager.
When Athina turns 21 in January 2006, she will become president of the Onassis empire of oil tankers and educational programs. (She has already inherited $2 billion from Christina's estate.) The company board is disputing her right of automatic succession, saying that future presidents should be fluent in Greek - Athina, raised in Switzerland by her French father, Thierry Roussel, and her Swedish stepmom, is not. (Thierry, who divorced Christina, worked hard to gain control of his daughter's finances.)
Everybody is expected to play hardball - big, juicy "Dynasty"/"Dallas" scenes. Athina is to the Greek public what Princess Diana was to Great Britain. Her latest beau is Brazilian horse jumper Alvaro de Miranda Neto, who competed in the recent Olympics. With a hot boyfriend in Greece's great athletic games, who needs to speak the language?
As a tasty sidecar comes the rumor that Athina was going to sell the family isle of Skorpios to Madonna. (Which she would then turn into a Kaballah temple site?) No way, say Athina's faction. Her mother, brother and grandfather are buried there.
BURT REYNOLDS AS 007? It almost happened. Burt tells "Access Hollywood" that he was offered the role of James Bond in the 1969 film, "On Her Majesty's Secret Service." This was after the original Bond, Sean Connery, claimed to have grown weary of pulling a gun and shaking those martinis. Burt says: "They did offer me Bond. It was when Sean Connery was giving them a lot of trouble about, you know, things, so they said [to Sean] 'To hell with you.' "
But Burt didn't think an American actor could do justice to the famous spy, and declined the opportunity to roll out the immortal phrase, "My name is Bond, James Bond." Burt says, "At the time I really thought, and rightly so, that Connery was amazing in the role and who ever did it would get killed."
Eventually, George Lazenby was cast. The film didn't do particularly well, but in the years since, it has gained its own cult status. (Connery would return for a couple more Bonds and then retire it for Roger Moore and today's 007, Pierce Brosnan.) Reynolds, who is busy these days - he's in the current film "Without a Paddle" - laughs. "Once in a while, when I have to send the alimony, I regret that decision. I would be so wealthy and probably living in England with a British accent!"
TV INSIDERS say that "Sopranos" star James Gandolfini and "Malcolm in the Middle's" Jane Kaczmarek have both submitted surprisingly unexciting episodes of their shows for Emmy consideration. This means that for best actor in a drama series, the brilliant James Spader of "The Practice" has a good chance. His episode entry was a knockout. And on the distaff side in comedy, it is tight between Sarah Jessica Parker (five times a loser) and "Everybody Loves Raymond's" Patricia Heaton (twice a winner.)
I say it'll go to Sarah Jessica, finally. "Sex and the City" and her character, Carrie, became quite beloved. Many fans wish it had continued just one more season. But for less sentimental analysis and predictions, click on GoldDerby.com. The Emmys happen Sept. 19.
GEORGE CLOONEY is not only filling his plate these days, beefing up for his weighty role in "Syriana," but he is making plates, too. Clooney, along with stars such as Reese Witherspoon, Alicia Keys, Brendan Fraser, Anjelica Huston, Samuel L. Jackson and Jennifer Lopez, have agreed to create a unique ceramic plate design. These will be auctioned off Oct. 23 at Barbara Davis' Carousel of Hope gala at the Beverly Hilton.
The night benefits juvenile diabetes. But sincerity aside, Carousel is also, next to the Oscars and the Golden Globes, the glam Hollywood event of the year. Not just star-studded, but star-glutted. In fact, it often outshines both those industry galas. If Davis doesn't invite you, get out of town!
) 2004 Newsday Inc.
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