"THEY BLAME him who talks too much; they blame him who is silent; and they also blame him who speaks little..." goes the Buddhist poem.

OUR CLEVER friend Perez Hilton was punched in the face the other night when he had a bit of a to-do with members of the Black Eyed Peas band. The openly gay Mr. Hilton then unwisely called someone in the band entourage -- a "f-----." The matter is now in the hands of the law.

But GLAAD, the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation is demanding that Hilton apologize for using an anti-gay slur. They say this "feeds the climate of hatred and intolerance."

Well, ok -- sure. But this got me thinking. Did GLAAD rear up and ask Perez Hilton to apologize to the conservative beauty queen Carrie Prejean when the former "Miss California" answered pageant judge Hilton's question about gay marriage? At that time, Perez referred to Prejean as a "b----" and a "dumb c---."

Forget your opinion, or mine, about Miss Prejean who has now found her voice and a forum for speaking out against gay marriage. Did she deserve to be so outrageously and viciously insulted even if millions did not agree with her? Did GLAAD have anything to say back then? Did it bother to correct Perez Hilton?

SINCE CLIMATES of hatred and intolerance and plain old uncivilized public discourse were on my mind, my office called GLAAD. They were stunned at the suggestion they should have rebuked Perez Hilton for his ugly attack on Ms. Prejean. "We are the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation; we defend gays and lesbians!"

"OK," said we, "but don't you think it might have been excellent PR to denounce all hate talk, even by gays against those who don't approve of them? Don't you want to make the gay community look tolerant and civilized and high-minded when it comes to others with whom it disagrees?"

GLAAD's spokesperson said again, "We are the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation; we defend gays and lesbians!" Well, as a woman, I do get it. It's "selective denunciation" GLAAD is interested in.

As for Perez, he is a brilliant, self-created gossip, entertainer and sarcastic philosopher when it comes to celebrity. (I was impressed when I met him, though his Website is over-the-top!) But he'll do better to tame his tongue when it comes to public insults.

CINDY FIRESTONE, grandchild of old Oliver and family inheritor of automobile tire millions, has gone from social circles right to humanitarian protests and even jail cells. She is distinguished for directing and producing the powerful documentary "Attica," all about the outrageous riot that made history in the infamous New York State prison.

"Attica" will have a 35th anniversary showing in Brooklyn at BAM on July 4. And Cindy is now busy penning her life story, which she'll call "From Debutante to Attica."

Just for fun, she is also writing the book and lyrics for the upcoming Broadway musical "Family Fortune" to be produced by her husband Manny Fox. Mr. Fox is the guy who brought to the Great White Way the legendary 1981 Duke Ellington musical "Sophisticated Ladies."

LOOKING OVER W. Randall Jones' new book called "The Richest Man in Town: The Twelve Commandments of Wealth," I felt I was living in a parallel universe. Aren't we all supposed to be having a tough time now and not dreaming of wealth at all?

Well, Randy founded Worth magazine and he still knows his stuff. He realizes many have fallen on hard times, yet they still cherish high hopes. So I recommend Randy's clever vision and here is his Rx.

RANDY JONES' 12 COMMANDMENTS OF WEALTH

1. Seek Money for Money's Sake and Ye Shall Not Find. 2. Find Your Perfect Pitch. 3. Be Your Own Boss. 4. Get Addicted to Ambition. 5. Wake Up Early -- Be Early. 6. Don't Set Goals -- Execute or Get Executed. 7. Fail to Succeed. 8. Location Doesn't Matter. 9. Moor Yourself to Morals. 10. Say Yes to Sales. 11. Borrow from the Best. 12. Never Retire.

I WENT THE other day as the guest of the irrepressible Simone Levitt to the beautiful restaurant founded back in the '50s by one Charles Masson. La Grenouille is now run by his namesake son. It is still just a step off Fifth Avenue on 52 Street and boasts the most beautiful flower arrangements in any cafe in the world.

This turned out like old home week. Every table boasted a beautiful lady or a distinguished gent, philanthropic marvels or still sailing captains of industry. The women were marvelous in their Chanel suits with those status handbags. I thought I was dreaming.

Mirabile dictu! There soon appeared the distinguished white-haired John Fairchild, being shown to his usual corner table from which this demon journalist once ruled fashion with an iron hand. Although he long ago handed over the reins of Women's Wear Daily, John still looks impressive. And these days I guess he is just as happy to let Anna Wintour and Vogue run everything.

(E-mail Liz Smith at MES3838@aol.com, or write to her c/o Tribune Media Services, 2225 Kenmore Ave., Suite 114, Buffalo, NY 14207.)